Ep. 14- Podcast Thumbnail

#14 – What is Sexual Integrity?

Comment below what you gained from this episode.

Ep. 40 - Podcast Thumbnail

Sexual Integrity—what is it (and isn’t), what’s the purpose of sexuality, and what are some practical tips to create a proper sexual mindset?

  • What is the definition of sexual integrity?
  • What are some misconceptions of sexual integrity?
  • Sammy’s story of the early phase of overcoming his porn habit
  • How does Andrew recommend diverting the negative energy?
  • Why does Sammy choose not to look at porn based on his ideals?
  • Is reserving and giving your all to the one person possible?
  • Why does your sexuality exist?


Episode Transcript:

Andrew Love: Hello, hello, and welcome back. This is Andrew Love. And today on Love, Life, and Legacy, we’re going to talk about what is sexual integrity because we talk about it a lot. You probably have an idea but we want to go deep into figuring out what this thing is unpacking the mysteries so that you can recreate histories. Man and woman. So enjoy today, we’re gonna have a lot of fun, as always. And I hope you can learn a lot so you can implement it in your life so that you can create a more radiant blessing, a radiant marriage of radiant family, a family that changes the world. Enjoy. Welcome back, everybody. It’s Andrew Love and

Sammy Uyama: Mr. Sammy Uyama. It’s great to be with all of you again.

Andrew Love: What’s the name of this podcast? I always mess it up. Can you say it?

Sammy Uyama: This is the Love, Life and Legacy podcast, the show about sex, hosted by High Noon and yours truly myself, Sammy and Mr. Andrew Love.

Andrew Love: Yeah, guys, we are guys and gals, I should say we are. We are here in our respective countries. And it is another day. And we wanted to talk today about something that kind of drives us. And we I think we talked about it so much. So we just assume everybody knows what we’re talking about, except we don’t define it as much as we could. So we wanted to talk about what is sexual integrity and really get into that because if you’re striving for something, you should really be well acquainted with it. Otherwise, you’re never going to get it because you don’t even know what it is. So we just wanted to kind of go in and do a bit of a deep dive into what does sexual integrity look like. What is it? What could it feel like? What is it not? So that at least we can be clear. And that you, you can be clear when we’re speaking about sexual integrity, what we’re talking about. But also our hope is that you can get clear and help define it yourself. So that you know what you are striving for out of sexual integrity.

Sammy Uyama: Yes, exactly. Because if for some of you, this might be a new term, even and you’re wondering what exactly it is we’re talking about. And for some of you, if those of you who are kind of in the High Noon circle, you’ve been to some of our events, or you’ve taken some of our courses, then, you know, this is something you will have heard us talk about very often. And it’s one of our early episodes. It’s something we wanted to specify, and what does this really mean to us and why it’s something we talked about. So often we really emphasize that something is such an important thing to have in our lives. Yeah, and even, even for us, it’s like an ongoing journey to discover and understand what does sexual integrity actually mean? And so part of this is kind of our musings and our own personal journey to develop a more, more like a, strengthen our understanding of the role of this place in our lives. And as always, like what Andrew just said, this is not just about us expressing our opinion to you guys, the purpose of the show is really to cause you to think about what these things mean for yourself. And all we want to do is provide some fuel and really leave you with something that you can think about and come to your own conclusion.

Andrew Love: Yeah, yeah, cuz it’s kind of honestly a little bit annoying. I guess for lack of a better term. When, when I talk to people and they’re like, oh you guys are the porn guys or oh yeah, I don’t need to talk to you guys anymore because I figured out my porn situation is. And I guess you know, part of the problem is that we did such a good job spreading awareness about what porn does to us. But in effect, that that’s only a very small portion of what we want to discuss and what we want to help people with. Because that’s, that’s the negative element. It’s like, we don’t want to just spend all of our time focusing on the negative aspects of people’s lives and helping them overcome that. We want to help them build a life that they’re so enthralled by a life that when you wake up, you have so many more positives than negatives; and any negatives that pop up, you feel like oh, I can crush those, I can move those out of the way, I can overcome those because that’s just the nature that you’ve adopted. And so sexual integrity, you know, I just, I get, I get straight up frustrated when people just assume that we’re a porn organization or like an organization that fights pornography in the ring. Mano y porno. We don’t… that’s not us. We, we want to help people address and uproot negative habits that they have, especially pertaining to sex. But we also want to really, really help you build something extremely positive and productive in your life in the area of sex. So that’s kind of like a bone to pick that I have. Maybe that’s not the best term, Sammy

Sammy Uyama: A boner to pick with.

Andrew Love: I did not say that. You, you did.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah. So that’s a really good segue because sex, ultimately, it is something that is meant to contribute to our lives and be something that’s a really positive force, and is intertwined in everything we do. And so sexual integrity, of course, has to align with that in some way. And so it’s really a great segue when Andrew was just talking about this kind of misconceptions that people have about what is that we do and the relationship between sexual integrity and pornography and so we can start by clarifying for us. When we talk about sexual integrity, what it isn’t, and then we can start going into what does sexual integrity actually represent for us? So, Andrew, what would you say are some of the key defining qualities that people often have, they misinterpret or have some kind of misconception about, about what sexual integrity they think it is? And that we actually disagree on…

Andrew Love: Yeah. Thanks for asking, Sammy! I’m glad you asked. Glad you asked. So, yeah, it’s, it’s definitely not abstaining, just like abstinence focus of not doing like, you need to not do all these things. Because when people live a life where they’re just refraining from certain activities, you’re basically putting so much energy into not doing something which is not only draining, but you’re in effect, investing energy in something negative. And eventually you’re getting worn out, and all those things that you’ve been trying to avoid are going to come back. It’s just like, when you live a life where you try not to eat the ice cream in your freezer, but all you’re thinking about is eating that ice cream in the freezer. It’s like this push and pull. Well, why don’t you just fill your house with delicious foods that’s healthy, that you enjoy eating, but that doesn’t make you sick, right? And the same goes for sexual integrity is like, we don’t want to be this organization that goes around talking about the ills of society, and all the negative impact of pornography and all this stuff. Because then, then your energies, it’s like it conjures fear, it creates a very fearful environment where, you know, still it’s like negative in terms of sex. Now, you’re just afraid, oh, I can’t do all these things. Your mind is still towards the negative in respect to sex. So it’s definitely not just white-knuckling. And hoping that you make it through another day without watching porn. There is a time for that in your journey when you’re new, and when you’re just like when you start any new habit, it’s like developing the muscle takes time and you’re still very much your old self and you’re slowly evolving into your new self. But you’re not meant to stay in that state for very long. What else Sammy? Anything else? What is, what is sexual integrity not?

Sammy Uyama: Well, I can, I like to emphasize what you just said, because it perfectly illustrates my experience in the beginning when I was dealing with pornography, it’s that, and it just, really the key thing it’s, it’s really not, not having a negative thing in your life. Like just abstaining from pornography, or masturbation in and of itself does not qualifies as this is, that’s the, that’s the definition of sexual integrity. And for me, the first, a couple years actually of my, you know, my, my breaking away from porn journey. It was totally, like, fear-driven. It was always I was worried in the back of my mind, I was always thinking alright, when is it, when is it going to happen? When am I going to collapse? When am I going to relapse? And it was really this experience of just like, pulling through and always just wondering, am I really going to be able to do it? Do I really have what it takes? Yeah. And you know, so it was really is focused on that rather than, you know, it’s not focused on you know, what do I actually want from my sexuality and like, why am I really doing this that really excites me? (Crosstalk)

Andrew Love: Yeah, yeah, being afraid of something. And fearing certain actions, you’re making it this big monster, you’re making it bigger than it really is. You know, the more that you talk about how sinister your, your problem is, and how, it’s like you’re shrinking your own self and your own self control and self worth. And you’re almost empowering this negative influence in your life because you’re giving it so much of your time and energy and attention, focusing on how big and bad it is. So again, there’s a time in your journey when self awareness, when you’re developing that self awareness to acknowledge the negative aspect of what these things are doing to you. But if you pour yourself into fueling an opinion that’s just as like, oh, this thing is so bad, I have to avoid it, avoid it. You’re actually giving it power. And you’re taking away your own power. You’re, you’re, you’re moving, you’re subtracting something from yourself that’s needed, and you’re giving it to something else.

Sammy Uyama: Yes. And so back to your question. For me, it was what’s another quality or what is sexual integrity not? And I’d say that’s another misconception is that people think that sexual integrity is something that you grow out of or that you graduate out of? It’s that you, it’s something you accomplish, and then no, like, you pat yourself on the back, and then you go on to the next stage of your life, you graduate out of porn, right? But then sexual integrity is, it’s a part of your, part of your life. It’s something that you carry with you always. And so that’s why, that’s why I want to emphasize like, you know, how is that and how does it look like that and why is that the case? And so, Andrew, let’s start going into what do you think sexual integrity is actually? What it, what does it mean for you?

Andrew Love: It’s, first of all, being really clear about how your sexuality connects with your ideals. Your ideals are extremely important, and they’re kind of like the North Star of your life. And it takes time to really form ideals you have. Most people have an inkling of the ideas that they have. I think I think if we really We look at our life, we don’t pay much attention to our ideals, and we just react based on our environment way too much. But your ideas actually take you out of the immediate moment and put you in a place of thinking about 10 years, 20 years, if you’re fortunate enough to have a connection with something eternal that actually connects you with eternity, right? So it’s like, how does your sexuality connect you with eternity? That’s a freaking deep question. And something you don’t have access to when you’re just chasing after a feeling, oh, I’m horny. Therefore, I’m going to act on this feeling right? But when when when you have sexual integrity, it means that your ideals factor into your sexual decision making, right? And it’s like, well, who do I want to be? If I do this? Will it contribute to me becoming the person that I’m committed to being and I think For the most part, people aren’t really committed to being anything. So they’ll accept anything, right? They like they have no standard that they’re striving for. So they’ll just kind of do whatever happens in the moment, and there’ll be no basis of comparison. But the real real, like having clear ideals, helps you develop a standard. And the same thing goes for again, I like to use fitness just because it’s, it’s so clearly like if you’re in shape, you’re in shape. If you’re out of shape, you you know it. But when you start eating well and exercising, you feel different. You have more mental cognitive clarity, you just you walk straighter, you feel like a different person. And that becomes a standard when you live like that for long enough. And when you deviate from that, and you go on this binge and you start eating donuts, and you just go off the deep end, you feel like garbage, because it goes against that person that you just were you’ve just become an Different person, it doesn’t fit into that nice feeling that you just had. So, the same goes for sexuality is like to form an ideal of type of character you want to be? Do you really want to be the type of person that stares at their phone for four hours gawking at naked? Other people having sex? Does that? Is that really how you want to spend your time and energy and fantasy? You know? Or would you rather be somebody who invests in developing themselves growing themselves using their phone to help other people to learn a new language? So, yeah, it’s really like sexual integrity is is is it you have to have some sort of clarity about a life that you want the type of person you want to be and those those really are expressed as in the word ideals, the ideals that you hold near and dear, and they honestly cannot be inherited from somebody else. You do have to develop your own set of ideals based not just on whatever is trendy, but what has worked in the past, you know, based on a lot of things Thought, prayer meditation going deep and figuring out what is really important to you? And how does your sexuality make you more of that? Instead of take you away from your ideals?

Sammy Uyama: I love it. So getting really crystal clear on your ideals and what it is that you really want for this area of your life. What is it you value? Another thing I would add is, wait before you

Andrew Love: Go on, I just want I want to see if you can talk about your I feel like because I just talked about kind of like an idea. But I feel like you could probably come up with a story right now about you and your life and how that actually looks like living up to your ideals. Because I mean, you’re a guy and you have access to the internet. And but you also have a wife and you have a kid. So why do you choose not to look at porn based on your ideas? Can you give us like a real-life situation? I feel like stories are really valuable and I didn’t give one so I was hoping.

Sammy Uyama: So. pass them To me, um what can I say? I I just got really clear on like, what I wanted my relationship with my wife and and really fiercely protecting that and fighting for that.

Andrew Love: Can we get into more granular Like what? What type of men do you want to be for your wife? Like if you watch porn? What do you honestly feel? What would happen to your relationship with your wife? Like would there be repercussions? Would she be okay with it? Or would you be okay with it or like, you know, I just want to get real I want to get honest.

Sammy Uyama: So yeah, I mean, I’ve actually I’ve actually like, it’s, I can share it. It’s like from experience I know my wife would be very embracing and very accepting. And this has happened where so I’ve there have been times when I’ve come close to I have can teetered on temptation or Started edging in some way. But you know, playing that game of not looking directly for pornography, but you know what some like non pornographic sexual ish kind of things. And I’ve found myself doing these kinds of things. And then I’d always go back and share with my wife. So countless times she’s just been so accepting and embracing. So I don’t, it wouldn’t devastate our relationship or she wouldn’t feel betrayed, or anything like that. She’s always been so supportive, and she trusts my intentions. But for me, like what I really want, it’s not even for her and just like, you know, how we’ll make her feel. It’s just like, who I want to be for her. And, and someone that looks at pornography doesn’t fit into that. It’s like, what I really want is, ultimately, My vision is that I am just totally enamored and enchanted by this one human being, and I don’t even have eyes or space for other people. And I’m still I’m still working on But that’s like my vision and what I want to go to go towards, and that I’m just Yeah, for me that would just be the dream is that I don’t even have eyes, not a Not that I like, resist temptation from other places, but I don’t even have eyes for others that I’m just so in love with this person that I’ve been together with for the past. You know, it’s been 10 years now 10 2030 4050 years. And it just grows and grows.

Andrew Love: That’s beautiful. I wanted I want I think you he took us to a very beautiful place. Like, I just, I think that’s so important because that’s very real, right? And I think I think I can’t come from this. But if you got to a really sincere place with anybody who’s ever existed, that’s all anybody’s ever wanted, is to just fully love and to be loved by one person in a way that is so complete and that’s why every you know, there’s so We love songs and so many movies and all that about that. But in all honesty, I feel deep down inside, most of us don’t believe that that’s possible. Right? And so a lot of people just kind of give up. Whereas, you know, there’s something that causes you Sammy, to strive for that still, because somehow you believe it’s, it’s possible. Would you say? Do you believe it’s possible? Do you believe it’s possible to fully just have eyes for one person and love just like give your whole self mind body and soul to one person? Do you think you can do that?

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, I, I absolutely. I think it can be done and that’s what and it excites me that possibility of that. And it’s, you know, I’m very far from that. I don’t pretend to be, you know, like almost there or anything. But it’s something that I, you know, it’s I enjoy having that vision to work towards

Andrew Love: Yeah, no, I think it’s an important concept or, or conversation because there are so many naysayers that are easy to snatch you up and, and say, Oh yeah, that’s a pipe dream, it doesn’t exist, right? And that’s when you want to believe that it doesn’t exist so that you can justify settling for something less than that, right? Whereas to not be swayed by the temptation to give up on unreal actual love. Love that can grow over time. Love that can be so satiating that you have no space for anything else, you know. And I think, I think humanity is getting to a place where we can start to live that out more and more, but I’m sure you’ve had moments or days… I’m sorry to dwell on this. I just think that that is an ideal that’s so fleshed out because you, you’re striving for it. Have you had days where you’ve been totally enraptured by your wife or we weeks or months or, or hours or minutes?

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, it’s… so those moments, I can’t, I don’t know how, I can’t, I don’t want to put a number on it. Okay, I don’t even know if I’d hit weeks or months, it’s, but yeah, there’s these times when having, just having no interest in anything other than this one other person and yeah, it was a great moment. I liked them a lot. And she likes them a lot.

Andrew Love: (crosstalk) to dwell on that. We’re about

Sammy Uyama : (crosstalk) It’s great to for me to vocalize you know, kind of my goals and kind of where I’m, where I want to go in this area. Yeah, and for me, another point of what is sexual integrity is that, so you know, getting clear on this ideal and this vision that you have for yourself, and then also getting clear in like the, I guess then that you define that, that’s like is the purpose of your sexuality, right? And, but also just getting really, what is the purpose of your sex? What is your sexuality made for, designed for? And how do you want to use it in your life? Getting clear on all of those things, and then going in that direction, so starting to align your mindset, your actions, sure. All that in that direction. And just because once you start getting clear on like, this is what my sexual desires meant for so for me, it’s designed and meant for my wife, this other person, and I experienced sexual drive and desire in order to invest into her. Yeah. And so, you know, I think for, like you said that people often don’t take the time to think about what is it they believe in certain areas, and I think for a lot of people, they took the time to think about, you know, this is how I wanted my sex to be used. This is like why my sexuality exists. Then a lot of things start to make sense. And then a lot of things start to make to… clearly don’t make sense. And I just think pornography and masturbation are one of those things. And so for me, I got so clear on “this exists for my wife”, and masturbation just doesn’t make sense in that scenario. And then that kind of life, you know, that, that lifestyle and that life, there’s no room for it.

Andrew Love: I like it. Yeah, I think, I mean, you and I were talking a bit before and the one idea that really came up is like, you know, sexuality is meant to be this reciprocal energy. You could call it if you’re new age, but definitely like an experience where there’s, there’s push and pull, there’s give and take, there’s like a fluidity, right. And if one part of that equation is broken, or has holes in it, or is out of focus, then it ruins that, that harmony, that kind of symbiosis. That’s, that’s happening, you know, and it’s not a complete experience. Because definitely like I, you know, and that’s really the sex that’s promoted in this, in this world and in society at large is like, based on a feeling, based on a sense of, you know, pheromones, hormones, all these things, you know, compulsion almost. Whereas now that, that I’m, I’m in a totally different situation with a wife that I’m a hundred percent committed to. It’s kind of like it’s a transcendental experience. Because I’m, I’m able to give her my full attention with my mind. I’m able to give my full love to her through my heart, and spiritually, we’re able to connect in a way beyond the body, because it’s not what our bodies are doing. That is the exciting part like that. That’s great and all that’s, that’s fine. We’re young and limber. We’re fine, you know, no problems there. But that’s not, that’s not the, like people who are obsessed, what porn teaches you is it’s about positions and it’s about all this external stuff. But when you’re really fully with another person, nothing else exists like literally the entire world ceases to exist for that moment. And it’s the entire world is you and your spouse. And you leave your bodies and you go somewhere that can that, it’s a mystical experience that’s, that’s it’s like all these you know, new age, all these hipster you know, Silicon Valley people do (inaudible). They’re chasing after this feeling which can only come not from sex but through love making. The sharing of love, you’re building love; it’s called love making because you’re literally making love. You’re creating love, you’re, you’re building love. When those elements: your mind, your heart, your spirit and then your body come together, but it takes a lot of time and investment. But that is like that’s, integrity is when all, all elements are working harmoniously to create the desired end result. And so, like, sexual integrity is also fulfillment of sexuality, like you’re saying, and that means the fulfillment of a relationship. And you cannot make love with somebody when their mind is distracted. It’s a bad experience Actually, that’s when sex can really hurt people – when their heart isn’t in it, when their mind isn’t in it. When spiritually they’re suffering, but their body’s still having sex. It’s when you start going into a deficit. It’s actually a, it’s a, it’s a heart deficit or a mind deficit or a spiritual deficit if your body has sex without those elements all together. And I know couples that you know, one of the, one of the people in the, in the relationship, they are begrudgingly having sex because they want to somehow make the relationship better, but their heart’s not in it. And in fact, they’re just creating distance. More distance between the two people, because they’re doing something out of order. Right. And so it’s really like this. When you talk about fulfillment, it’s really like a deep experience when those things are all aligned. And that’s the hard part of relationships, that that’s the work. That’s the work of marriage. But your reward is having sex, that can’t be described really in words and can’t be understood by people who just chase after physical sex. It’s something that can only be experienced with when two people are working on their minds and their hearts and their spirits together and growing together and then experience sex together. It’s like, it’s out of this world in the most literal sense. You know, but I’m not saying it’s like that every time for us, but definitely, we’ve had moments when we just kind of look at each other. I don’t mean, I mean, I would probably devolve into a being that couldn’t walk. Or I’d look really weird and I’d speak in gibberish, but

Sammy Uyama: I think…

Andrew Love: Yeah, God. I mean, I feel…

Sammy Uyama: I think if it was like every time you’d never leave the house, Andrew.

Andrew Love: Cherry on top of the sundae. And it’s not about that and we don’t chase the experience. The experience comes when it comes like that. That feeling of connection to God through sex comes when it occurs when, that’s why I changed… I changed it to occurs because I knew… I didn’t do it in time though. The, the experience occurs, Sammy, when we’re not chasing it, when that’s not the end goal, but when the goal is the other person comes (crosstalk) when we’ve done our own personal homework. So that’s why yes, yeah, like avoiding negative habits is, of course a great start. But then like building yourself up into somebody who can really be a caring, loving, considerate, kind, gentle, generous person. That’s where the magic is. That’s where the magic is. And that doesn’t come by avoiding difficulty.

Sammy Uyama: Yes. So, so yeah, so amazingly put, and just that last point of going into someone that can accomplish these things, that’s really the heart of sexual integrity. And because it fluctuates. You know, you compared your current sexual experiences with your wife to your past and how vastly different they are, and how a lot of what media talks about sex. It’s very hormonal. And it definitely fluctuates. Like, you know, I say all these grand things about my relationship with my wife as well. And sure, I have this commitment to viewing her a certain way. But, you know, those hormones are super strong when, and when they start kicking in, I definitely start forgetting all these grand, you know, these grand dreams I have for my sexual relationship with my wife and it becomes, it does, you know, the focus very strongly is pulled towards just like I just want to, I just want to, you know, grow up against something or I just want to, you know, get off in some way. Right. And, and I think as, as humanity, it’s really the, we have this unique ability to have mastery over our, over these urges that we experience. And we have this gift and also, I think, a responsibility as human beings to master our lower urges.

Andrew Love: That’s so important because that’s, that’s like we are able to do that. But there’s such a huge segment of society that’s trying to persuade us to not even think about that. And to really, don’t, don’t even believe that and don’t even take that seriously because that’s not, you don’t, like, like, Freud did a lot of this. Kinsey did a lot of this. That any type of self-control is a form of repression. And that’s not what he’s talking about there. There are problems when you repress but that’s really, again, avoidance of negative things. It’s more realigning that energy to work towards your ideals. That’s really important. I like that point. Because a lot of people don’t really believe that. Oh, I can’t control that. I’m just horny or whatever. And that’s such, it’s we hear it so much. And it’s such a bold-faced lie because you can, if you can’t control yourself, and you’re a menace to society, oh, I feel like murdering somebody, oh can control it. I feel like having sex, can’t control it. Well, that makes you a child. That’s what, little babies live like that. But you’re meant to grow out of that into somebody who has control over every aspect of your body, and your mind and your heart and your spirit. That’s the purpose of our life.

Sammy Uyama: Yes. So yeah, those, those chemical poles, all that physical stuff is really strong. And so definitely don’t want to discredit that. But exactly what you’re saying, Andrew, is that we have the ability to have mastery over those things. Absolutely.

Andrew Love: And so I honestly I had a discussion very early this morning with somebody, really talking about this. Because there’s, there’s even people who do believe that you can recover. There’s a lot of psychologists, a lot of kind of brain people who say yes, but it takes a long time. You have to really dig deep and like, yes, there is that road, and some people go down that road and it takes years and decades and whatever. And there’s other people who just honestly can change in an instant because they recognize their own power and it’s, it’s really a, it’s really a, an epiphany that doesn’t come through the mind. It comes through a deep, like intrinsic realization to the bone marrow that, wait a second, I am able to control myself. And when you feel that, then, then it’s a game-changer, right? And we want all of you to experience that. Because to have control over yourself is one of the greatest experiences you can have like taming, taming a wild horse is nothing compared to taming your mind, taming your heart, taming your sexual desires, right. But if you don’t ever take the time to do that, then you’re kind of a liability to yourself. If you end up in a relationship, you’re in, you’re a liability to that relationship. So it’s definitely worth exercising the muscle of self mastery and it’s absolutely anybody can do it. Some people will have more work to do than others. But everybody it’s, it’s, it’s not like, there’s no you know, totem pole where some people are at the top and some people are at the bottom and you’re stuck there. Anybody can master themselves. Absolutely.

Sammy Uyama: Amazing. Anything else on this topic? Andrew, are we ready to go into our call to action?

Andrew Love: Uh, no, I’ll leave. I’ll leave people alone. I mean, obviously, I can talk, but I’ll leave them alone for now.

Sammy Uyama: You guys got a free pass from Mr. Andrew Love. Yeah. So the whole point of this conversation is that we just want to give you something to think about. And so we really encourage you to take time and think about you as your unique individual. What is the purpose of your sexuality? And what is your ideal in the realm of sex? What is it that you really want? What is it that you want to fulfill during your lifetime regarding sex, to really what, what is it meant to be used for? And just really what makes sense given that and I think for a lot of people who really take the, the sincere, the genuine time to reflect on this area of their life, things just begin to make sense. And like for me, just the natural conclusion was pornography just didn’t make sense, given what I wanted for this area of my life. And I think a lot of people would similarly come to a similar conclusion.

Andrew Love: So we’re going to give you some calls to action right now. You’ve heard some nice flowery words from Sammy and I. It’s lovely to hear. You know, his interpretation of his ideals. I love it. But now for you, because this isn’t about us. It’s about you. One thing we want to challenge you to do is, is deeply think about what is your sex? You, your sex meant to be used for. Is it something that’s meant to be used for cheap thrills and you know, just short, short lived pleasure? Or is it meant for something greater than that? That’s something that you need to really consider for yourself. What makes sense is with, with your sexuality, like what makes sense to you, in terms of your ideals, it’s really good. We want you to also really steep yourselves in thinking about what your ideals might be, and what makes sense for you in terms of how to live your life in the area of sexuality in respect to those ideals. So I want you to really think about that because most people don’t. And it’s very bizarre, because, you know, we know some very considerate people who are deep thinkers and amazing action takers. And yet in the area of sex, they they don’t give it much thought. They just kind of follow their urges. And it’s an, it’s a bizarre thing to behold, and I believe at this stage in humanity, we are meant to evolve at exponential rates. And part of that is looking deeply at ourselves and asking ourselves, what do we really want? Who do we want to be? And what kind of life do we want? And they’re all the tools at our immediate disposal to allow us to create that life, to curate a life. Every aspect. And sex is no different. And that’s why High Noon exists is to help you curate a life of sexual integrity, but you have to first figure out what does that mean? To curate something means to customize it to, to handpick the elements that you like. And so that means you have to take time to figure out what is it that you do that you don’t like? And what is it that you would like to do in the place of that thing that you don’t like? So, that is, you know, the kind of esoteric homework for you to do and an impractical way. We want to remind you, if we haven’t already, to go to highnoon.org, and sign up for the 15-Day Challenge. And this was designed to help you experience some small measure of progress in your life pertaining to sexual integrity to build the sexual integrity. And so there’s five days that focus on looking at your past and understanding, reflecting on the past self reflection, and then five days of self evaluation, learning self awareness What is that? Who are you and how do you function day in and day out? What do you, what shortcomings do you have? What blind spots do you have? But also what virtues and values do you already live up to? And how do you double down on that, and then we have five days of self mastery and that’s looking at how to move forward with total confidence and clarity so that you can customize your life in terms of sexual integrity. So go to highnoon.org and sign up for the15-Day Challenge. It’s totally free. And it was designed specifically to give you the experience of growth. And it’s not going to transform your life and totally change you forever. But it will give you that incremental shift in a fundamental way that in five years, if you keep on investing in self reflection, self awareness and self mastery, you will be such a fundamentally different person. So it’s like that, that one degree shift now, in five years, you’re gonna be such a totally different person than you are now in the best way possible. So it’s to give you that competitive advantage, competing with yourself, I guess, I don’t know, you’re not competing against anybody to give you the leg up on yourself and to be able to get ahead of your bad habits by anticipating those habits and recreating yourself in good habits. So, please go. That, those are your action steps to reflect on what, what is sex meant to be used for and also to sign up for this 15-Day Challenge. It’s been a pleasure. Sammy dropped off this call because there are technical problems, but we’re just gonna say on behalf of Sammy, who’s not even here, I know he would want me to say this. Thank you. Thank you for listening. God bless you guys. Thank you for coming and we will see you soon.


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#49 – ‌High Noon 2021 Launch

This makes for a lovely episode: listen to an inspiring and enchanting love story of High Noon Families’ the School of Love project directors, Jario and Leena Vincenz-Gavin. 

Married for 13 years, these two have grown a lot and discovered many things about themselves, their work, and each other. Apart from being the fuel for families to mend their relationships, they also became a role model for couples working in the same environment, believing that learning about each other’s strengths and weaknesses will help create that perfect balance in marriage and relationships.