#129 – How ‘Turn-Ons’ Can Be Customized

High Noon June 29, 2022

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We all want to be the person we aspire to be in the future, to be fulfilled in life, and to be better people than we are now. But the real question is: does this align with the people we are today, and with the habits, we have in our lives right now? Sometimes our ambition and eagerness to live up to the ideal of the person we hope to become someday cause us to deny the unhealthy habits we have and to be ashamed of opening up to others. As a result, we don’t get the help we need to change or let go of those habits in our lives.

As humans, we sometimes struggle to manage our emotions. When we experience negative feelings, we often look for ways to control them, which causes us to develop bad habits like porn addiction. A person becomes dependent on porn because they allow themselves to think that their emotional state and their porn habit are related, making it impossible for them to quit. We must learn to deal with our emotions without associating them with a habit that limits our ability to grow.

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about the value of emotional self-awareness, the reasons we shouldn’t conflate our emotions with sexuality, and how to make our lives significant and purposeful without turning to porn for fulfillment. They also discuss how “turn-ons” can be customized, the significance of commitment to a long-term relationship, and the negative impact of social media’s so-called beauty standards.

Many people are being misled into using social media as their standard for many things, including what is beautiful or not, and this can have a negative impact on how men perceive women or their spouse in a relationship – and vice versa. When we commit to someone we truly love, we wouldn’t spend our time looking for things that they lack, but instead would spend it learning new and beautiful things about them. We would always find a reason why we shouldn’t let go and would strengthen our connection with God at its center.

Listen to Episode 129 to learn more!

Show Notes

Why does someone conceal unhealthy habits?
Why do people continue a habit they don’t want?
Why is being emotionally self-aware important?
Why shouldn’t we conflate our emotional state and sexuality?
How can you simply separate your emotion from sex?
Porn is not the only reason why someone becomes addicted to it
Create a new opportunity for yourself to tell a story instead of porn
How ‘turn-ons’ can be customized
The significance of commitment to a lasting relationship
The harmful influence of social media’s so-called ‘standards’ on what is viewed as beautiful

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Categories: Podcasts, Sexual Integrity, Uncategorized

Tags: attracted, attractive, Benjy, day, emotions, equation, feel, habit, internal, people, person, porn, sex, story, stressed, talking, trigger, wife, women

#130 – Getting Out Of Your Head

In this episode, Andrew talks about why we shouldn’t get trapped in our own heads, the healthy things we should engage in to re-establish connections with other areas of our lives, as well as the importance of constantly growing emotionally and spiritually. He also discusses why it’s important to limit our usage of technology and social media.

High Noon July 6, 2022

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#137 – Eroding Values + Sexuality

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about the significance of having values that are aligned with the kind of person we want to become, why is it important to understand them, as well as how social media is undermining our values. They also talk about the risks of excessive consumption of social media and the need of taking a break from it in order to break unhealthy habits.

High Noon August 24, 2022

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#111 – Junk Emotions vs Valuable Emotions

In Episode 111, Andrew and Benjy talk about how our emotions affect our lives, as well as the difference between junk emotions and valuable emotions. They also discuss how emotions affect relationships and what it means to be committed to a marriage.

High Noon February 23, 2022

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#136 – Sexual Imprinting

In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about how important it is to understand why we experience, think, and feel about sex the way we do, and how these things are influenced by the way that we were first exposed to sex. They discuss how we imprinted this and developed ideas about sexuality that we considered normal.

High Noon August 17, 2022

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#116 – Your Sexuality Impacts Humanity’s Fate

In Episode 116, Andrew and Benjy talk about what impact our sexuality has on humanity’s fate as well as how we can contribute to creating a better world. They also discuss how porn has a negative affect on our perceptions of sexuality, as well as how High Noon can help and be an essential piece of someone’s recovery from a porn addiction.

High Noon March 30, 2022

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	Richard & Mari Curry have been Blessed in married since December 2005 and have four children. They love working together as a team and are passionate about caring for others, especially in the realm of marriage development. After Mari received her Masters of Divinity from Cheongshim Theological Seminary, she and Richard served as co-pastors in Florida. Since then, they moved to New Jersey and over the years have happily served in a variety of ministry roles from music to education. All the while, working together to serve the Blessed Marriage Project and now High Noon Couples. They were a part of the founding team in 2013 and have been a part of it ever since. They currently serve as the directors of Highnoon Couples. They love the Energize! Retreats because they help realize True Parent’s desire for healthy couples and reminds us of Heavenly Parent’s love and hope for us all! Contact Mari at: mari@edu.highnoon.org
	Crescentia & Leighton DeGoede have been Blessed in married since October 2010, and have three children. Crescentia is currently serving as the District Pastor of district 3 and local pastor of the Clifton Family Church. Previously Crescentia was the Director of the National Blessing and Family Ministry of FFWPU for six years. Both Leighton and Crescentia currently serve as Matching Supporters. Prioritizing their marriage, while juggling children, work, and community service has been an exciting challenge. But they continue to find that the more they invest in their marriage, the more they have to give in all areas of their lives. They love giving other couples the opportunity to infuse their marriages with love deposits through marriage enrichment programs.
	Christoph & Lena Yasutake have been Blessed in marriage since April 2002 and have three teenagers. They are both equally passionate about marriage education and helping blessed couples create happy and healthy families. The Energize! Retreats are one of their favorite ways to share this passion. They served in the Young Couples ministry for six years and are frequent guest speakers at Blessing Workshops.
	Kate Pugnoli has served as the Community Liaison and is also responsible for generating our monthly newsletter. A former journalist, she has a Masters of Religious Education from the Unification Theological Seminary where she took focused her studies on counseling courses. She has also had experience facilitating small groups. The mother of two sons, now Blessed in marriage, she lives in Tucson, AZ with her husband Simon Herbert. She is committed to working with the Blessed Marriage Project in hopes that marriage enrichment will be available to communities across the country and particularly to bring the Energize! Couples Retreat to as many couples as possible.